I’ve decided to start this blog because I used to love writing. Somewhere along the way I traded that love for a job, school, work, taking care of everything and everyone except me. So now I’m returning to the basics. I’m in the midst of trying to redefine myself. I’m so much more than a first year school counselor, daughter, mother, girlfriend, friend, etc. Those are simply roles I fulfill on a daily basis.
What do I enjoy doing? Now that I’ve graduated from grad school, what’s next? What lies ahead? I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years. What’s next? Will we move forward or decide to call it quits? I have two children. I’m tired of living in apartments. It’s time to move into a home. What are my goals for the next 5 years? 10 years?
I’m trying to make sense of my chaotically sane life…that’s all. Maybe airing it all out will help me gain some perspective…First things first, this weight thing…OMG…Okay, so here’s the thing; eight years ago I was diagnosed with a tumor. The soccer sized tumor was treated with chemotherapy. After the tumor shrunk enough to be surgically removed, I needed radiation. After the surgery, my blood count continued to drop so low I’d need blood transfusions once or twice a week. To make a long story short, I started taking steroids for some reason, and gained a ton of weight. My eating habits have never been great. So the combination of steroids, unhealthy eating habits, and no physical activity was a recipe for rapid weight gain.
I was so huge; I was six months pregnant and I didn’t even know it. Wait, how did you not know? I’m sure you’re wondering. Well, the side effects from the medication I was taking made me ignore the nausea and vomiting. Also, I’ve never had a regular menstrual cycle.
Let’s fast forward to the end of 2015. I began my weight loss journey. I was down 50 lbs, and my partner was down by 70 lbs. Guess who ends up pregnant AGAIN?? Yep, you guessed it! Now 18 months later, I’m typing all of this out, and telling myself that tomorrow will be the day I start over and continue to stay motivated. In 2015, my partner and I were completely in sync; working out, getting healthier, and pushing each other. What happened to that motivation on my end?
When I was pregnant, I used my pregnancy as an excuse to fall back into unhealthy habits. Now I’m here thinking of all of the time I’ve wasted waiting on tomorrow. Now is the time for me to change today and stop waiting for a tomorrow that may never come. Let’s get it…Who’s with me?